Borrowing from the familiar fire safety mantra, we offer a similar guide for those navigating the emotional and legal complexities of divorce.
STOP: Stop the blame game. By the time a couple reaches divorce mediation, revisiting “how we got here” can become a counterproductive exercise. Pointing fingers—whether it’s "he/she took me for granted" or "he/she cheated"—only fuels resentment and distracts from the critical task of finding a path forward. The focus should be on unwinding the relationship with as much emotional and financial stability as possible, not on assigning blame.
DROP: Drop unrealistic expectations. Many enter marriage with hopes of building a lifelong partnership, raising a family, and securing financial stability. However, divorce alters that vision, and clinging to old expectations—such as maintaining the same standard of living—can lead to frustration. For instance, holding onto the idea of raising children in the family home may be impractical when supporting two households. Very often it becomes necessary to downsize the home, adjust spending habits and reimagine a different future.
ROLL: Roll with the changes. Divorce inevitably brings a wave of changes for the entire family. Accepting and adapting to these changes can make the transition smoother. Whether it’s re-entering the workforce after years of being a stay-at-home parent, postponing retirement plans, or adjusting to a new co-parenting arrangement where you no longer see your children every day, flexibility is crucial. The ability to "roll with the punches" will make the process less painful and help you navigate this difficult chapter.
Divorce is rarely easy, and it often causes people to react in emotional or even irrational ways.. But much like the fire safety rule, the best way to minimize the damage is to stop, drop, and roll.
Comments