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Mediation for Families
Mediation FAQ's
The aim of argument and discussion, should not be victory, but progress
– Joseph Joubert
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What is mediation?Divorce mediation is a process in which the mediator guides the parties to an agreement that they craft themselves. Mediation allows the parties to proceed at their own pace, meeting at times that are convenient for them, not tied to or delayed by a court calendar. The mediator will guide the clients through every aspect of the divorce including child custody and child support, parenting plans, full accounting of assets and liabilities, and division of all property.
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Why choose mediation over litigation?Litigation is by its very nature, combative. The process is more drawn out, more contentious, and more costly than it has to be. In litigation the clients each hire an attorney and are subject to coordinating both attorneys’ schedules, the court calendar, frequently including court delays, resulting in a process that, in addition to being very expensive, often can stretch out for years. In the end, all the decisions are taken out of the hands of the parties and will be handed down by a judge Mediation is a process that focuses on collaboration. A single mediator, or sometimes two mediators working as a team, will work with the clients to minimize conflict and help them reach a mutually beneficial agreement. Unlike litigators, mediators are not there to represent one party’s interests over the other, but to guide the parties through the process to actively participate and to be in control of their own agreement. The final outcome is determined not by a judge but by the parties themselves through mutual decision-making. Our mediators are experienced in conflict resolution offering integrity, compassion, and encouraging respect for the rights and wishes of both parties.
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When should I start working with a mediator?For Divorce Mediation, the parties should contact us when they have made the decision to move ahead with a separation and/or divorce. The sooner the better. A mediator can explain how the process will work, answer any questions you may have and begin to establish the initial groundwork to be done. For Family Mediations, contact us when it seems the family members have reached an impasse on an issue or issues or when differences of opinion result in potential conflict impacting family relationships. In either case a mediator can assist the parties in finding a path forward.
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Do you offer alternatives to in-person meetings?Yes. While we are happy to meet clients in our Manhattan office if that is their preference, today the majority of mediation clients we see choose to meet via Zoom. The Zoom format eliminates travel time and offers greater flexibility to schedule meetings in the evenings or even during breaks in the clients' workdays.
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Will I need a lawyer?It is not necessary to have a lawyer for mediation, the vast majority of our mediations do not involve an attorney. However, it is perfectly acceptable for a client to include their own lawyer if they chose to do so. At the conclusion of the mediation process, we recommend that clients hire an attorney to review the agreement, and also to prepare and file the necessary documents with the court to accomplish a legal divorce or separation. We can explain this process in greater detail in your initial consultation.
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How long will it take?There is no "average" time for a mediation because there are so many variables in each situation: (are there children in the marriage? will custody be an issue? have the parties already agreed on some issues? are there complicated financial arrangements to unwind? etc). Some simple mediations are essentially completed in just a few sessions, some can go for ten sessions or more. It depends upon the circumstances and the parties' commitment to the process.
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Does divorce mediation work for high-conflict cases?Yes. In some high-conflict cases mediation is preferable to litigation. Unlike litigators, the mediator's function is not to "do battle". The mediator is there to facilitate communication and guide the parties to a mutual solution. In very high conflict situations the mediators may choose to meet with the parties in separate sessions thereby reducing tensions and often times creating an environment that allows each party to speak more freely.
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